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Everything Has a Reason: Does it?

We often go about our daily lives, experiencing a million moments, both good and bad. As a society that believes in a creator and a preserver, we are imbued with the thought that everything happens for a reason and ultimately serves our best interests. This belief drives our lives, suggesting that incidents, whether joyful or tragic, hold profound meaning.

This wise and encouraging thought had me going with gratitude, until I lost my little Aabi. We just lost her, immediately, no warnings, nothing extraordinarily alarming, or anything that should have led to a conclusion.

My child, singing and dancing, talking and laughing, was taken away. By that one creator, preserver, we all believe in. The one who has our best interests at heart. For whom we are all equal, all precious, and I am left with this thought to survive with.


The Question of Meaning in Loss

But does everything truly happen for a reason? Can such profound loss ever lead to a good ending? Will it ever be justified in any sense?

No, never!

Nothing in this world can justify, rationalize, or give meaning to the death of my child. No one and nothing in this universe can make good out of this situation. I will never come to understand that this happened for a reason or that it was what was best for us all.


The Weight of Grief

The world runs normally, all things in order, and maybe unaware of everything. The way tragedy hits, with the loss of your child, is one no one will ever be able to comprehend. This is my new normal, marked by a loss that will never have meaning, reason, or a future good. The path ahead feels perpetually dark.

As the days pass without my child, I struggle to find even a glimmer of light. I speak to those who understand grief and counsel me on how these feelings are normal after losing a child. I connect with others who have experienced similar losses and have found new purposes, yet they, too, cannot rationalise the loss they endured.


How can my child be in a better place, and saved from something worse, when her better or best place was always my arms, her safest place was always us giving her cuddles. I, breathing in a world that was supposed to have my child playing around, growing, experiencing life in every way everyone is. Me witnessing everything around, but my child. My only thought is for her to be here with me, where I can take care. When I made her, I nursed her, I carried her, can anything ever seem reasonable to me of her having to leave without my knowledge or permission?


I cannot reason, I cannot understand, I cannot see my daughter without her sister when we only imagined them sharing everything in life. When the future never seemed so lost.

We anticipate the highs and lows of life, and we prepare for loss and sadness, but we never truly expect absence. We can rationalize many things, but the absence of a loved one is beyond comprehension.


So I say, some things happen for a reason, for the ultimate good, but losing a child is not one of them. It never can be!

Both my children deserve all of my love, all of my attention, and all of my future. I will always be offering myself as a whole to both of them. Because that is what my body, my mind, and all of me can understand and be.


A Message to Other Grieving Parents

I want to reach out to all those who have lost their child, that there is nothing in this world that can ever explain or defend this loss you have experienced. Our child was always only ours to hold and nurture. We should never have outlived our little ones, and that unreasonable, is also life.

We can carry them, now, for the remainder of our lives, close, never to lose them again. We are in a world that will forever be incomplete now, yet still be the only place we had them, held them, loved them, and lost them. This is the world they walked, this is the place that will always be witness to them being, and this is where we will have to be. Reason or no reason.

ree

 
 
 

2 Comments


Sunil Arora
Jul 12

Nobody on this earth have been able to explain why some people go so early and so suddenly while others linger on. The mystery of death has not been resolved even by the 'so-called' most learned people on this earth. Loss of Aabi is a shock that is not possible to be absorbed. It has shaken our inner-self to the core, the reason not conceivable of understandable. All faiths shattered and all believes nullified with this, one most unjustified act of that God. We are left to suffer for the rest of our lives. We are living because we are breathing but the essence of life is gone. Everything around has become worthless, as the life itself has become meaningless.…

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Guest
Jul 12

She came in our life suddenly n made us feel the real alive happy people revolving around her ..flying high with her energy n feeling Blessed ...but ...then suddenly again....fly away to a distant place where it's not possible for us to catch her now .... Just making us to live without any energy left ...wounded n broken...No reason or explanation can tell us why n was it real...As if some super power ..Almighty is teaching that might is right n we have to accept it without questioning Him or Her ...also that some Mighty is there who has changed our path of journey on this earth n we have to keep going with beautiful memories of that energy alive…

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